HAVE YOU SEEN ME?
Height: about 4.5 inches
Weight: 29 oz.
Last Seen: Grocery store shelves, Fall 2008
We're in crisis mode at This Old House. Okay, I'm in crisis mode and The Mister has no idea anything is amiss.
There is a pumpkin shortage.
I have been to three grocery stores and the Super Target. NO PUMPKIN. There may not be any for weeks. What is a girl to do?
I have previously explained that experiencing fall in Florida requires some improvisation - the purchasing of fall scented candles, the displaying of fall decorations and the baking of delicious fall treats. I ask you, how is a girl supposed to fill her home with the mouth-watering aroma of pumpkin baked goods without pumpkin? No pumpkin roll, no pumpkin muffins, not even the ugly stepsister of pumpkin treats - plain old boring pumpkin pie. Yankee Candles only go so far. Eventually The Mister will get wise to my tricks, open the oven and demand to know "Where is this pumpkin deliciousness I am smelling?"
I will not stand for this. Libby's people - I demand an answer. And I don't want to hear anything about excessive rain, 1/3 of the crop lost... go sell it down the river. Just tell me when I'll have my pumpkin.
Oh, and you pumpkin patch people, don't even tell me this will affect my search for The Great Pumpkin. Last year, I didn't get a pumpkin. The Mister kept promising to take me but never quite got around to it. I'm still bitter and not quite ready to talk about it. Point is - this year's pumpkin has to be the best ever. So, let's try not to disappoint, okay? I'd hate to have to lose my shit in the middle of some church's pumpkin patch because they're down to their last three pumpkins which all look like they're left over from Halloween 2008.
Get it together pumpkin people. And fast.